Tuesday, June 17, 2008

A Little History...

In order to understand where we are, you have to know a bit about where we have been. So, let me explain- no wait... there is too much. Let me sum up. (Princess Bride- you knew that, right?)

It was always our plan to have children together. Of course, I have two wonderful children from my first marriage, (Sarah- 21 and Christian- 16), and Melanie has now had a chance to do the stepmother role, but we really wanted to parent together- from the beginning. We talked about it before we were married and we decided that it was something we wanted to do.

Well, when the Dad is 50, the clock is ticking more quickly than for some others, so we wanted to get the show on the road. Unfortunately, after what was, for us, a long period of trying... no luck. Finally in the summer of 2007 the stork came! Melanie was pregnant! The due date was early to mid January of 2008, and we were excited!

But God had something else in mind. In September of 2007, Melanie developed HELLP syndrome, (google it if you wish), and very suddenly, she was in a life threatening condition. She was admitted to the hospital where they told us that there was no other option but to deliver the baby, (then at 22 weeks). Lucy Ann was delivered on September 15, but was too small to survive. We were, for a time, crushed. I say "for a time" because when you live with the God of the universe, you find healing and restoration no matter the intensity of the blow.

In subsequent, (like that word?), appointments, doctors informed us that it would be a very risky thing for Melanie to be pregnant again. There was a very good chance that any pregnancy would end with the same result, and any pregnancy would place Melanie at risk as well.

So, there we were. What do you do with the desire to parent when you cannot have children? Hardly a new problem, just new to us. We never thought we would be here. In our position, there are two options- surrogacy and adoption. We, being the responsible and rational people that we are, began to investigate both. (You know, they have those "For Dummies" books for everything!)

It didn't really take us all that long to decide to move toward adoption. Surrogacy has the obvious advantage of having your own biological child, but it also has some other associated issues that did not thrill us all that much. Lindsay Lohan offered, (she needs money), but we turned her down. We decided to move toward adoption.

Even after you choose a direction, the choices do not end. With adoption, it boils down to this- you can go through a lawyer or you can go through an agency. We, being the responsible and rational people that we are, investigated both.

We met with a local lawyer who specializes in adoption. He stuck us in a room where we watch a 90 minute, (not kidding), dvd about the firm and about adoption. Then he came in the room and said "Any Questions?"

Just a little market research to any of you who are thinking of starting your own adoption law firm- don't do it this way. It doesn't work. At least not for us. We walked out certain that we would not be using their services.

So- on to the "agency" route. We, being the responsible and rational people that we are, investigated more than one. But in the end, we settled on Bethany Christian Services. Click here to see their site

Now the process is underway. In the next post, I will bring you up to date on where we are in the process. Don't try to hide your excitement!

Thanks for coming along!

-ja-

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