My, it has been a while- a while since the last post. I can only tribute the delay to insanity.
Not me!! Come on- I saw you thinking that! I'm not insane, its the start of school that is insane! Its the insanity of getting up at 5 in the morning- (no one should get up at 5). It is the insanity of every school in the school system moving and reconfiguring. It's the insanity of actually having to go to work. And... oh, the list goes on and on. It has just been insane. And I am not sure that you can say that sanity is returning- its more like we are getting used to the new insanity and so we can breathe again.
Anyway, when we last left off, (July 16), I told our faithful reading audience about the education meeting that was scheduled for August 13 and how that was the "last thing" before our profile went into the pipeline.
Well, the meeting has come and gone, a hefty payment made, the profile submitted... and so now we wait.
The meeting was good. The discussion gave a lot of good insight into "how it usually goes" when you get the call that someone has chosen you are a potential adoptive parent. How it usually goes is that "every case is different." So I am not sure there is a "usual" or "normal".
So now we are in the audition of our lives. We have produced this profile that tells who we are and why we think we would be a good choice. Will anyone else think so? How long will it take?
I have spent some time in waiting rooms. Waiting for the results of tests- waiting for news- waiting to hear... So what do you do while you wait?
Waiting will be the subject of the next several posts- that is unless they call next week with a baby. Hey, it could happen.
Maybe we better go get a carseat...
Thanks for coming along.
Jon
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Mark Your Calendars...
Well, OK, you don't have to mark your calendar- but we certainly are marking ours!!! Why? Why, you ask?? Only because the Education Meeting with Bethany we have been waiting for has been scheduled!! The meeting is August 13 at 6:00!
So, just what does that mean for the whole process? The Education Meeting is the very very last component of our home study. Once we attend the meeting, we are "in the pipeline." Our profile can be shown to potential birthmothers and we are eligible to be chosen as adoptive parents. Once we hit this point, the "real" waiting begins. There will be nothing else we can do. We will be one of those sets of parents who are just praying and waiting for some birthmother to look at our profile and say, "I like deese guys- deese are funny guys!" (Oops- slipped into movie mode there- 3 Amigos- remember?) But that really is the idea- our profile is what catches the eye of a birthmother- and you never know what might catch someone's eye.
And while we are on the subject- this profiling thing, let me tell ya...
It is not an easy process. I mean, let's think about it... All you have to do is write up a summary of who you are, how you got there, what makes you different, what makes you good people, what makes you good parents, what makes you a good family, what sets you apart from all of the other families out there, what makes your home the right kind of home, what reason to think there is that you will handle adoption issues well, how regular you are at paying your taxes, how you voted in the last 5 presidential elections (and why), your theories on discipline, nutrition, quantuum mechanics, the economy, global warming, public education, the Academy Awards, and which peanut butter is better, (JIF smooth)
OK. So I am exaggerating a bit. But it is kind of like that. You have to distinguish yourselves from everyone else in about a page and a half. Not easy. The text of our profile went through 5 revisions and is pretty much in its final form now. The establishment of the August 13 meeting date gives us a time frame to work with. We want to have our profile ready to roll immediately upon the completion of the Education Meeting. So, in the next month we will have to get the profile into its final format. I will add photos and work on the final layout and produce the copies in order to have the whole thing ready to go on August 13.
So, there you have it. That's the latest. Home stretch on the profile, meeting in a month, then it will be, as they say, in the hand of God.
Brinkley says "hi"- He stopped chewing on things long enough to say it.
Thanks for coming along
-ja-
So, just what does that mean for the whole process? The Education Meeting is the very very last component of our home study. Once we attend the meeting, we are "in the pipeline." Our profile can be shown to potential birthmothers and we are eligible to be chosen as adoptive parents. Once we hit this point, the "real" waiting begins. There will be nothing else we can do. We will be one of those sets of parents who are just praying and waiting for some birthmother to look at our profile and say, "I like deese guys- deese are funny guys!" (Oops- slipped into movie mode there- 3 Amigos- remember?) But that really is the idea- our profile is what catches the eye of a birthmother- and you never know what might catch someone's eye.
And while we are on the subject- this profiling thing, let me tell ya...
It is not an easy process. I mean, let's think about it... All you have to do is write up a summary of who you are, how you got there, what makes you different, what makes you good people, what makes you good parents, what makes you a good family, what sets you apart from all of the other families out there, what makes your home the right kind of home, what reason to think there is that you will handle adoption issues well, how regular you are at paying your taxes, how you voted in the last 5 presidential elections (and why), your theories on discipline, nutrition, quantuum mechanics, the economy, global warming, public education, the Academy Awards, and which peanut butter is better, (JIF smooth)
OK. So I am exaggerating a bit. But it is kind of like that. You have to distinguish yourselves from everyone else in about a page and a half. Not easy. The text of our profile went through 5 revisions and is pretty much in its final form now. The establishment of the August 13 meeting date gives us a time frame to work with. We want to have our profile ready to roll immediately upon the completion of the Education Meeting. So, in the next month we will have to get the profile into its final format. I will add photos and work on the final layout and produce the copies in order to have the whole thing ready to go on August 13.
So, there you have it. That's the latest. Home stretch on the profile, meeting in a month, then it will be, as they say, in the hand of God.
Brinkley says "hi"- He stopped chewing on things long enough to say it.
Thanks for coming along
-ja-
Thursday, July 3, 2008
We Interrupt This Blog for the Following Special Announcement...
We have a new family member!! Now before you get down the road with this too far and start jumping to conclusions and saying things like, "Holy cow- they got their baby! There was no shower! I need to get a present! How did this happen so quickly! Oh my goodness!!!", let me put your fears to rest and let you know that the new family member is not a baby... well, it kind of is... WE GOT A PUPPY!!!!
We have been talking about this for a while and we decided that now would be a good time. We are not traveling in July, I am home most of the day during the summer, and, we found a breeder fairly close with just the dog we wanted!
Our new little guy, Brinkley, (named after Tom Hanks' dog in You've Got Mail), is a Cavalier King Charles spaniel and is about 8 weeks old. He is pretty small, (a skadoosh over 3 pounds) and will be around 15 pounds when he is full grown. He is a "blenheim" King Charles, which for the rest of us means that he is a mix of brown and white. We just got him on Wednesday, (7/2), and so now we have been dog owners for a whole day!
We were fully prepared for a long night last night but I put him in his crate, read him his bedtime story, gave him some warm milk...oh wait, I am getting our adoptions confused- those are things I will do with the baby... Anyway, I put him in his crate, talked to him for a minute, closed the crate door, turned off the light, and we never heard another whimper all night long. Totally did not expect that. We will see how it goes tonight.
Photos of Brinkley below!
I guess it is truly the summer of adoption around here. We have added a puppy to the mix. Now on to the main attraction... a baby!!!
Thanks for coming along!
-ja-
We have been talking about this for a while and we decided that now would be a good time. We are not traveling in July, I am home most of the day during the summer, and, we found a breeder fairly close with just the dog we wanted!
Our new little guy, Brinkley, (named after Tom Hanks' dog in You've Got Mail), is a Cavalier King Charles spaniel and is about 8 weeks old. He is pretty small, (a skadoosh over 3 pounds) and will be around 15 pounds when he is full grown. He is a "blenheim" King Charles, which for the rest of us means that he is a mix of brown and white. We just got him on Wednesday, (7/2), and so now we have been dog owners for a whole day!
We were fully prepared for a long night last night but I put him in his crate, read him his bedtime story, gave him some warm milk...oh wait, I am getting our adoptions confused- those are things I will do with the baby... Anyway, I put him in his crate, talked to him for a minute, closed the crate door, turned off the light, and we never heard another whimper all night long. Totally did not expect that. We will see how it goes tonight.
Photos of Brinkley below!
I guess it is truly the summer of adoption around here. We have added a puppy to the mix. Now on to the main attraction... a baby!!!
Thanks for coming along!
-ja-
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
No White Smoke Yet...
...but we are getting closer!! We met with our case-worker for the last time, and I think that as far as she is concerned, we pass! (We don't have that in writing yet.) As long as all involved parties get the paper work to the agency, we are only waiting for one more thing- the "Education Meeting". This education meeting is a bit of a mysterious thing to us. No one has really said exactly what happens. I guess they think that it is implied in the title. But we do know this- your home study is not complete and you cannot do squat until you have attended the meeting!
So, when is this meeting? If you hear anything, let us know. Apparently these education meetings are scheduled "every once in a while", and as of our latest communication with the agency, no date has been established for the next one. We are just hoping that it happens before we wind up with a wheelchair and a stroller in the family at the same time!
(You all know I am just having fun with this right? We firmly believe that God is in control of the timing of this entire affair- it will all come together at the right time and we are willing to wait for God's timing. I have noticed that it is just a pinch better than mine!)
In the meantime, I have been writing the rough drafts of our "profile"- the document that will be shown to potential birth mothers to tell them all about who we are and why we are WAY better than any other family out there (kidding). More about this profiling process coming soon!
For now- thanks for coming along!
-ja-
So, when is this meeting? If you hear anything, let us know. Apparently these education meetings are scheduled "every once in a while", and as of our latest communication with the agency, no date has been established for the next one. We are just hoping that it happens before we wind up with a wheelchair and a stroller in the family at the same time!
(You all know I am just having fun with this right? We firmly believe that God is in control of the timing of this entire affair- it will all come together at the right time and we are willing to wait for God's timing. I have noticed that it is just a pinch better than mine!)
In the meantime, I have been writing the rough drafts of our "profile"- the document that will be shown to potential birth mothers to tell them all about who we are and why we are WAY better than any other family out there (kidding). More about this profiling process coming soon!
For now- thanks for coming along!
-ja-
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
10 Reasons to Adopt When You Are 50...
Apologies to David Letterman-
And now, Jon's Top Ten Reasons to Adopt When You Are 50!!
10. 50 is the new 40!
9. What a great fitness plan!
8. I get to play with Super Hero toys again!
7. Having children later in life worked out well for Abraham.
6. The look on people's faces when the child calls me "Dad" will be worth it!
5. I'm up half the night anyway!
4. The baby gadgets are WAY cooler than they were the first time around!
3. AARP discount applies to formula and diapers!
2. There is this one chick who I think will really dig it!
And the number one reason to adopt when you are 50...
1. We have the opportunity to do for a child what God did for us!
-ja-
And now, Jon's Top Ten Reasons to Adopt When You Are 50!!
10. 50 is the new 40!
9. What a great fitness plan!
8. I get to play with Super Hero toys again!
7. Having children later in life worked out well for Abraham.
6. The look on people's faces when the child calls me "Dad" will be worth it!
5. I'm up half the night anyway!
4. The baby gadgets are WAY cooler than they were the first time around!
3. AARP discount applies to formula and diapers!
2. There is this one chick who I think will really dig it!
And the number one reason to adopt when you are 50...
1. We have the opportunity to do for a child what God did for us!
-ja-
What's Happened So Far...
Once you are hooked up with an agency, there are things to do. To bring you up to date, let me give you the run-down...
For us it started with a general information meeting. Several couples considering adoption come together for a presentation by one of the agency's representatives and hear a presentation about adoption and about the agency. We've done that.
At the meeting you receive a packet with a ton of stuff in it- one item being the formal application. If after the meeting and reading through the material provided, you feel that you are ready to jump in, you complete and submit the formal application. The formal application must be submitted with a pretty substantial application fee, so when you turn it in it is somewhat like jumping off the high dive. You're in now. Let's get the party started. We've done that.
Soon after the application is in you have to write an autobiography. I think that each of ours will be available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble sometime in July. We've done that.
Once the autobiographies are in, you are assigned to a case-worker or social worker, and the "home study" process begins. Agencies go to great lengths to be certain that prospective adoptive parents are solid upstanding people. (At this point I would like for my two brothers to just be quiet). The home study involves meeting with the case-worker at the agency office and at your home, (thus the term HOME study). Home studies can be completed in 2 or 3 meetings. We have completed two, (including the one in our home), but we have one more coming. Apparently we talk too much or something.
In the midst of all of this, you have to get physicals, which, Mother, I do every year anyway. And, you have to have blood drawn. Now anyone who knows me knows that I am a total wimp when it comes to needles. I mean, nearly pass out kind of wimp. But I will have you know that I had my blood drawn Monday and came through with flying colors- kind of a whiter shade of pale. (A nod to the older ones like me who remember that song)
We have been fingerprinted and our "FBI" background check has been run. (The Agency assured me that my previous stint as an agent would not jeopardize our adoption chances at all.)
We have attended a panel meeting during which we heard presentations from adoptive families and birthmothers which was very informative and beneficial.
Our personal references are in, (thank you if you are reading this and you are one of the families that wrote references for us).
So- what's left? Well, we do still have to meet with our case-worker one more time, (coming very soon), and we have to attend an "Education Meeting" at the agency. As of now we do not know when that meeting will be. It appears that the Education meeting will be the last item in our home study.
Once the home study is complete, then it is on into the selection process. More about that in future posts!
Thanks for coming along!
-ja-
For us it started with a general information meeting. Several couples considering adoption come together for a presentation by one of the agency's representatives and hear a presentation about adoption and about the agency. We've done that.
At the meeting you receive a packet with a ton of stuff in it- one item being the formal application. If after the meeting and reading through the material provided, you feel that you are ready to jump in, you complete and submit the formal application. The formal application must be submitted with a pretty substantial application fee, so when you turn it in it is somewhat like jumping off the high dive. You're in now. Let's get the party started. We've done that.
Soon after the application is in you have to write an autobiography. I think that each of ours will be available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble sometime in July. We've done that.
Once the autobiographies are in, you are assigned to a case-worker or social worker, and the "home study" process begins. Agencies go to great lengths to be certain that prospective adoptive parents are solid upstanding people. (At this point I would like for my two brothers to just be quiet). The home study involves meeting with the case-worker at the agency office and at your home, (thus the term HOME study). Home studies can be completed in 2 or 3 meetings. We have completed two, (including the one in our home), but we have one more coming. Apparently we talk too much or something.
In the midst of all of this, you have to get physicals, which, Mother, I do every year anyway. And, you have to have blood drawn. Now anyone who knows me knows that I am a total wimp when it comes to needles. I mean, nearly pass out kind of wimp. But I will have you know that I had my blood drawn Monday and came through with flying colors- kind of a whiter shade of pale. (A nod to the older ones like me who remember that song)
We have been fingerprinted and our "FBI" background check has been run. (The Agency assured me that my previous stint as an agent would not jeopardize our adoption chances at all.)
We have attended a panel meeting during which we heard presentations from adoptive families and birthmothers which was very informative and beneficial.
Our personal references are in, (thank you if you are reading this and you are one of the families that wrote references for us).
So- what's left? Well, we do still have to meet with our case-worker one more time, (coming very soon), and we have to attend an "Education Meeting" at the agency. As of now we do not know when that meeting will be. It appears that the Education meeting will be the last item in our home study.
Once the home study is complete, then it is on into the selection process. More about that in future posts!
Thanks for coming along!
-ja-
A Little History...
In order to understand where we are, you have to know a bit about where we have been. So, let me explain- no wait... there is too much. Let me sum up. (Princess Bride- you knew that, right?)
It was always our plan to have children together. Of course, I have two wonderful children from my first marriage, (Sarah- 21 and Christian- 16), and Melanie has now had a chance to do the stepmother role, but we really wanted to parent together- from the beginning. We talked about it before we were married and we decided that it was something we wanted to do.
Well, when the Dad is 50, the clock is ticking more quickly than for some others, so we wanted to get the show on the road. Unfortunately, after what was, for us, a long period of trying... no luck. Finally in the summer of 2007 the stork came! Melanie was pregnant! The due date was early to mid January of 2008, and we were excited!
But God had something else in mind. In September of 2007, Melanie developed HELLP syndrome, (google it if you wish), and very suddenly, she was in a life threatening condition. She was admitted to the hospital where they told us that there was no other option but to deliver the baby, (then at 22 weeks). Lucy Ann was delivered on September 15, but was too small to survive. We were, for a time, crushed. I say "for a time" because when you live with the God of the universe, you find healing and restoration no matter the intensity of the blow.
In subsequent, (like that word?), appointments, doctors informed us that it would be a very risky thing for Melanie to be pregnant again. There was a very good chance that any pregnancy would end with the same result, and any pregnancy would place Melanie at risk as well.
So, there we were. What do you do with the desire to parent when you cannot have children? Hardly a new problem, just new to us. We never thought we would be here. In our position, there are two options- surrogacy and adoption. We, being the responsible and rational people that we are, began to investigate both. (You know, they have those "For Dummies" books for everything!)
It didn't really take us all that long to decide to move toward adoption. Surrogacy has the obvious advantage of having your own biological child, but it also has some other associated issues that did not thrill us all that much. Lindsay Lohan offered, (she needs money), but we turned her down. We decided to move toward adoption.
Even after you choose a direction, the choices do not end. With adoption, it boils down to this- you can go through a lawyer or you can go through an agency. We, being the responsible and rational people that we are, investigated both.
We met with a local lawyer who specializes in adoption. He stuck us in a room where we watch a 90 minute, (not kidding), dvd about the firm and about adoption. Then he came in the room and said "Any Questions?"
Just a little market research to any of you who are thinking of starting your own adoption law firm- don't do it this way. It doesn't work. At least not for us. We walked out certain that we would not be using their services.
So- on to the "agency" route. We, being the responsible and rational people that we are, investigated more than one. But in the end, we settled on Bethany Christian Services. Click here to see their site
Now the process is underway. In the next post, I will bring you up to date on where we are in the process. Don't try to hide your excitement!
Thanks for coming along!
-ja-
It was always our plan to have children together. Of course, I have two wonderful children from my first marriage, (Sarah- 21 and Christian- 16), and Melanie has now had a chance to do the stepmother role, but we really wanted to parent together- from the beginning. We talked about it before we were married and we decided that it was something we wanted to do.
Well, when the Dad is 50, the clock is ticking more quickly than for some others, so we wanted to get the show on the road. Unfortunately, after what was, for us, a long period of trying... no luck. Finally in the summer of 2007 the stork came! Melanie was pregnant! The due date was early to mid January of 2008, and we were excited!
But God had something else in mind. In September of 2007, Melanie developed HELLP syndrome, (google it if you wish), and very suddenly, she was in a life threatening condition. She was admitted to the hospital where they told us that there was no other option but to deliver the baby, (then at 22 weeks). Lucy Ann was delivered on September 15, but was too small to survive. We were, for a time, crushed. I say "for a time" because when you live with the God of the universe, you find healing and restoration no matter the intensity of the blow.
In subsequent, (like that word?), appointments, doctors informed us that it would be a very risky thing for Melanie to be pregnant again. There was a very good chance that any pregnancy would end with the same result, and any pregnancy would place Melanie at risk as well.
So, there we were. What do you do with the desire to parent when you cannot have children? Hardly a new problem, just new to us. We never thought we would be here. In our position, there are two options- surrogacy and adoption. We, being the responsible and rational people that we are, began to investigate both. (You know, they have those "For Dummies" books for everything!)
It didn't really take us all that long to decide to move toward adoption. Surrogacy has the obvious advantage of having your own biological child, but it also has some other associated issues that did not thrill us all that much. Lindsay Lohan offered, (she needs money), but we turned her down. We decided to move toward adoption.
Even after you choose a direction, the choices do not end. With adoption, it boils down to this- you can go through a lawyer or you can go through an agency. We, being the responsible and rational people that we are, investigated both.
We met with a local lawyer who specializes in adoption. He stuck us in a room where we watch a 90 minute, (not kidding), dvd about the firm and about adoption. Then he came in the room and said "Any Questions?"
Just a little market research to any of you who are thinking of starting your own adoption law firm- don't do it this way. It doesn't work. At least not for us. We walked out certain that we would not be using their services.
So- on to the "agency" route. We, being the responsible and rational people that we are, investigated more than one. But in the end, we settled on Bethany Christian Services. Click here to see their site
Now the process is underway. In the next post, I will bring you up to date on where we are in the process. Don't try to hide your excitement!
Thanks for coming along!
-ja-
Monday, June 16, 2008
The Purpose of the Blog...
We're Adopting!!
That's right- after much prayer and consideration, we have decided to make an attempt at domestic adoption. More about how we got to this point in the next post. For now, let's establish this much: We decided to adopt domestically because, at least this first time around, we are interested in adopting an infant. International adoption usually merges a family with an older child. Maybe next time. This time, we want an infant. Yea, I know- that means late and sleepless nights, long periods of unexplainable crying, diapers that should be registered with the government as a toxic weapon... But it also means that first belly laugh, the first time they roll over, the first crawl, the first step, and, we get to do it together. Now if there just happen to be some afternoons when I have to rock the child to sleep and then find myself trapped under a sleeping baby, well then, I will sacrifice and sleep as well- (so as to not wake the child, of course.)
So, in order to keep friends and family posted concerning the progress of this effort, we decided to blog. OMG! We are just with it!!
Feel free to leave comments- we would love to hear from you. We will try to post as often as possible with new information, or just our latest thoughts and feelings.
Let the journey begin!!
-ja-
That's right- after much prayer and consideration, we have decided to make an attempt at domestic adoption. More about how we got to this point in the next post. For now, let's establish this much: We decided to adopt domestically because, at least this first time around, we are interested in adopting an infant. International adoption usually merges a family with an older child. Maybe next time. This time, we want an infant. Yea, I know- that means late and sleepless nights, long periods of unexplainable crying, diapers that should be registered with the government as a toxic weapon... But it also means that first belly laugh, the first time they roll over, the first crawl, the first step, and, we get to do it together. Now if there just happen to be some afternoons when I have to rock the child to sleep and then find myself trapped under a sleeping baby, well then, I will sacrifice and sleep as well- (so as to not wake the child, of course.)
So, in order to keep friends and family posted concerning the progress of this effort, we decided to blog. OMG! We are just with it!!
Feel free to leave comments- we would love to hear from you. We will try to post as often as possible with new information, or just our latest thoughts and feelings.
Let the journey begin!!
-ja-
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